Read Online Mating in Captivity Reconciling the Erotic the Domestic Audible Audio Edition Esther Perel HarperAudio Books

Product details Audible Audiobook Listening Length 8 hours and 8 minutes Program Type Audiobook Version Unabridged Publisher HarperAudio Audible.com Release Date January 1, 2006 Whispersync for Voice Ready Language English, English ASIN B000IB0EYI

Mating in Captivity Reconciling the Erotic the Domestic Audible Audio Edition Esther Perel HarperAudio Books Reviews

• A friend asked me why he found sex with his wife "routine". He said he loved his wife and having sex with her still felt good, but he didn't feel "turned on". Instead, he found himself fantasizing about sex with other women. This book answers that question completely and helps one explore the contradictions and congruity of love and sexuality.
• Got to this book late and am I glad for it. When it came out I was newly remarried and didn't need and wouldn't have heard the message. But seven years into a mid-life marriage I needed tips on answering Ester Perel's Big Question (from her excellent TED Talk) Can you want what you already have? Her answer seemed to be as I read Sure you can. But it's work. And you better understand what's going on first.
  
  Add to this that my whole arousal system of mind, body, soul and sex is older, as I'm in my mid 60s. Love what she said when asked how many times she'd been married "Four. To the same man." This woman and mom and wife and therapist and speaker of 6 languages not only reinvented herself to stay hot for her man but to stay interesting for her two teen children living with mom/dad as a foursome. Yes, sex as a family value. From Belgium and Israel, her husband and two kids live or lived together when she wrote this from their flat in NYC. It's one thing to write how to stay hot for each other while married; it's another to pull it off and then even be able to communicate the complex system that makes it possible.
  
  I gave one to a peer guy friend and one to my son. It's that good and helpful. They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Don't read this book too soon. Or too late either. But buy three copies and get ready. I say.
• Fascinating and enlightening. This is one of those books that make you better, educated, happier, confident and much more if you read this with a very open mind. Perel offers great insight into human desire -- for love, sex, connection, space -- and how we tend to thwart the very intimacy we crave by applying judgement to our desires. I haven't read a better reason to be hopeful that long term relationships can maintain, even increase, passion and desire than this.
• While I do recognize that Esther Perel is a famous therapist, the author backs up her hypothesis with her patients' experiences and most of them are completely out of the ordinary. I will cite one single example of the many this book has. Certain men have difficulty expressing their interest and love to women (what a surprise), and this guy could not maintain relationships because of this until he found a japanese (or chinese woman). They fell in love and it worked out so well precisely because they could not talk. He did not speak japanese, the woman did no speak English in the beginning, so they were forced to show how much they loved each other without talking. While this is a very romantic story, honestly, how often is a regular person going to encounter a situation like this? What is the point in giving these kind of examples when most of the people are not going to experience something like that? When reading this book I felt as if I were reading advice from Cosmopolitan. Do not waste your money or time reading this book. It is not worth it.
• Read it. If you can't read it, read the last chapter or two. However, I believe everyone who cares about their relationship or their own health will find themselves in a few of the many examples. The overall message of the duality or tension of the long term relationship and the distance needed for eroticism seems so obvious after having read this. There are many brilliant observations in this book, but I would also recommend the many lectures that the author has given which appear on YouTube, including her TED talks. I listened to a few before reading the book and a few after reading the book. It's funny how they made so much more sense after reading the book.
• Anyone who desires or is in a long-term relationship should read this. This book had me hooked, I whizzed through it in about 2 days. Hugely enlightening and puts words to something I've always noticed but could never quite put my finger on. The gist is that love demands closeness, but erotic desire needs space to thrive. For modern American couples, who often have their lives so intertwined, this can lead to problems. Perel explores this seeming contradiction and sheds light on how modern couples can become aware of this and mediate it. This book is packed with wisdom. Enlightening read!
• If a book could save your marriage, this would be it! It has excellent advice about how to think about your intimate partnerships that will actually lead to real changes in the relationships. My sisters and I have all read this book as part of our family book club and can report much better marriages because of Esther Perel's advice. Nothing is a quick fix, but one step in a new direction can take you to new places. I recommend this book to everyone who wants a better intimate relationship--especially if you are willing to do the hard work of looking at your own actions and making small changes to be a better partner.
• I think there is tremendous value in Perelman's insight that intimacy--marked by safety, closeness, and familiarity--and desire--marked by space, mystery, and risk-taking--are two distinct things. They not necessarily be opposed for many of us (thank God), but they are not the same, and need to be cultivated differently if we want to have a long term relationship marked by both loving security and erotic passion.